Location: Psych's Office
Timeline: MD 15 - Backlog
Kaylia stood outside of the hatch leading to Lieutenant O'Donoghue's office. She was not in the least looking forward to it, not because she hated doctors, or shrinks. It was just annoying. Taking upon the assumption that it was 'office hours' she didn't bother to knock before opening the door and closing it behind her. First and foremost thing she did was give a look around at any personal things in the room before settling her eyes on Niamh.
Niamh turned from the spartan bookcase she had been filling to face Kaylia. She quickly donned a welcoming smile before crossing the room to meet Kaylia.
"Lieutenant, you must be the ruffian who's been sent to me for an eval" she deduced, "Please, take a seat" she suggested, gesturing towards one of the plush leather chairs she had requisitioned from the skyport, citing military importance as she had the marines assigned to her take the seats.
Kaylia still looked over the room first and what was in it, particularly the bookcase now that Niamh was attending to it. "Lets cut with the pleasantries shall we, Doctor? I don't want to be here, you probably don't want me here. And I'd rather stand as hopefully, this will be short."
Unperturbed Niamh proceeded to take a seat, "Given your actions, it would be inappropriate for me to the anything but thorough. I have order's directly from the CIC to ensure I'm confidence before fully signing you back off onto active duty, the way we are going right now isn't promising" she warned, "You may stand, if you want, but your leg will get tired before my patience, I assure you of that, Junior Grade"
"We can see about that another time I guess." Kaylia shook her head and shifted around to sit. "I fail to see how my choosing to would have any validity upon your ultimate decision. Some people like to stand, Ma'am."
"Perhaps" Niamh shrugged, "but this session could last a lot longer than you're expecting it to. If you wish to stand, you can, but this session is more likely to provide positive results if you let your guard down and relax" Niamh explained, "I'm not here to judge you, I'm here to understand you"
"We'll see, Doc. Some shrinks I like, some I'd rather rip their throats out." Kaylia was still sitting and nodded, lifting a hand out to motion for them to get started.
Niamh watched her pointedly, "That a very aggressive, Kaylia," she said, "do you normally talk about others with contempt?" there was no judgment, just curiosity.
Kaylia glanced at her, "Depends on what it is, whom it is, and what is going on so quick answer. Yes, given the situation and my mood."
"Why?" Niamh asked in-between scribbling the notes she had started, "Is this genuine hatred, or an expression of your frustration?"
"That would be more the latter." Kaylia nodded.
"That's something we can work with," Niamh declared with a happy smile, "A big part of our jobs within the military is being able to manage our frustrations. We know this is something you can do, or you wouldn't be holding the rate of Junior Grade. What we need to do now is figure out how we can get you back to that point", she deduced.
"So," Niamh paused for a beat, not sure how Kaylia was likely to respond, "how are you coping since the fall?"
"I used to know how to do as such until all this frakking crap happened and it brought everything back that happened to me when I was 15." Giving a sigh and looking down a moment, Kaylia finally looked back up. "And I might as well tell you because you are going to try to get it out of me anyway."
"You can tell me anything, but I'll never push you for it, Kaylia" Niamh replied softly, "whenever you are ready"
Reaching up she pressed the palm of her hand to the underside of her chin. Giving a push one direction and then the other to turn her head, Kaylia popped her neck each time. Giving another sigh she glanced away when she started to speak. "I was gang-raped constantly for three days as well as nearly beaten to death."
"I see," Niamh replied, showing no signs of discomfort, "that's a very traumatic experience, did you receive the appropriate care in the aftermath?" she asked curiously, rape was still a taboo topic on a great many of the colonies; due to this each colony provided different means of after-care. Aftercare varied from place to place.
"About a month or so, while I was recovering, then I stopped it once I was discharged from the hospital." Kaylia crossed her arms under her bust.
Niamh nodded, "What prompted you to stop care? Did you not find it effective?"
Kaylia was quiet for a long few moments, "I couldn't stand the crap I was being fed like I was a child. As well as the doctors and authorities treating me like I am made of glass. It didn't help I was pregnant."
"I'm sorry that made you feel that way," Niamh was sincere. She couldn't help but feel frustration towards Kaylia previous therapists; they should have known better than to approach someone with no regard for their client's maturity.
"You're not made of glass, you're a survivor, you've endured more trauma in your short life than most ever would" Niamh nodded reassuringly as she spoke, "They should have known better, but don't perceive all therapists to be the same; some of us are very perceptive"
Kaylia nodded, I know I'm not made of glass, but that is what they though. That's why I am still so pissed off and closed even today. I frequently have nightmares still, but not of the act. Well sometimes. More of making the decision to abort. I do actually want to be a mother some day, but there was no fraking way I was going to let it be one of theirs."
"If-" Niamh took a beat, thinking about how best to approach her proposal, "You made an incredibly difficult choice that you felt was the best for yourself at the time, I commend you for that" she leaned back into her seat, "If you wouldn't mind, I'd like to help you towards getting into a better place, there'll be terms, but I sincerely believe you'll benefit from some sessions"
"Who, even you, no offense, is to say I'm not already?" Kaylia tilted her head, "However, you've not been treating me like those idiots, so I will at least hear you out."
"Kaylia, we both know that you're not in a good place, you wouldn't be sitting here if you were. I'm not going to lie to you, and I'm not going to edge around my assessments, and I'm certainly not going to treat as though you are less than capable of achieving anything you set your mind too," Niamh explained, "I just need you to be open and honest with me and understand that you won't be judge for anything you say in this space".
"I have been open and honest, more with you than anyone I have in years." Lowering her hands to her legs. Kaylia was looking Niamh in the eyes, "So what are these terms? Just be open and honest?"
“Not just open and honest,” Niamh answered, “I need you to work on holding your hostility at bay, I’m not expecting instant results, but seeing you try will go a long way” she added calmly. She understood the root of Kaylia’s combatativeness, not many within the fleet could likely say they had experienced such brutality, but she’d need to learn to manage it if she wished to remain as an active member of the Colonial Fleet.
Niamh suspected what would happen should Kaylia be declared unfit for duty and was eager to ensure she had tried everything within her power to make sure that never became a reality.
"Okay.." Kaylia held the gaze. "I will try."
”Fantastic,” Niamh beamed, ”from my point of view, we've made enough progress that I’m happy to suggest a provisional reinstatement, is there anything you would like to add?”
Kaylia gave a shake to her head, "No, not at the moment. I assume we're going to have to have more than one of these sessions."
"You would be correct Lieutenant. Say, around this time again next week infact, depending on what is going on ship wise." Niamh would scribble down the next reaction that came from Kaylia once it did.
"Not like I have much of a choice doc," Kaylia stood up, "Alright, same time." A long sigh as she moved to the hatch. Giving an out of characteristic pause and glance back at Niamh. "Doc?"
Niamh looked up, "Yes, Lieutenant."
"Thank you," Kaylia disappeared from the room and closed the hatch behind her.
"Interesting," Niamh looked back down scribbling again.